It has almost been 4 weeks since my world came to a screeching halt. My life and marriage was torn apart. I have had a lot of time to reflect on the problems we had in our marriage, the inability for us to have children, and our communication skills. I have talked to my husband until I am blue in the face, but he still does not know what he wants in life or how to get there. I have always been determined and maybe some of that is why I am sitting here today a crushed human being. Maybe I was too determined to make our life perfect. I thought about my husband every day and when I went shopping as I did quite often I always bought something for him. I just can't put my head around not having him in my life. Everyone keeps telling me I can find someone better, but what if I don't want anyone else. What if I just want him and my life back. I should be very angry and should have kicked him out of our house, but with all the other things that are going on I need him in a way. I curse the woman that did this to me. I ask the question to myself all the time, how can someone knowingly hurt you, she was a friend and she knew we had been together happily for 10 years. I don't this it is very nice to hate people, but at this time in my life I can actually say that I hate her and hope she gets hit by a bus. Why would anyone purposely cause pain to someone else. Especially in my husband's case where he says that he loves me still. What am I suppose to do with that.
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